Learning Curve or Curve Ball?

You Learn Something New Everyday

That's the old saying. But do we? Really?

What did you learn yesterday?
The day before?
Last week?
Last month?

Are you even paying enough attention to know what you could have learned today?

Learning is the key to success.
Learning is different from knowing.
In fact it takes not knowing - a beginners mind to really learn.
What have you learned lately?

What can you do today to make you better tomorrow? Learn something!
What was the last book you read? The last seminar you went to? The last teaching CD you listened to? What can you do today to make you better tomorrow? Learn something!

Currently I am reading 3 books. Last year I read 5 books, attended 3 seminars and listened to numerous CD's. Of course, some were better than others, but I learned something from each of them.

A few weeks ago I found myself in a mini sales seminar. I could say it was good, but that would be a lie. The truth is they were some of the worst ideas I have ever heard about selling. A couple of people walked out, but I stayed. Why? I was convinced there was something I could learn or that would be useful to me. And there was.
Every situation you are in is an opportunity to learn something. The BIG question is are you curious enough to find it and resourceful enough to turn it into learning?

We live in a I want it now, instant gratification, I can't wait, just get 'er done world. Problem is real success doesn't work like that. Ask anyone who is very successful they will all tell you the same thing, it took 10 years of hard, determined work to achieve their overnight success. If you are stuck looking for the magic bullet then finding and leveraging the learning in every situation may be impossible.

Unwilling to work that hard or persist for that long? Then you are working at the wrong thing. The only way to achieve true success is to be willing to do the work for the sake of the work, not for the sake of the future or the money or the achievement. Working for the sake of working is the sweet spot for real learning and is called Mastery.

What is the business application for learning? The more you learn and grow the more valuable you are to those around you. The more value you can bring to the table the more you can get paid. Learning equals earning.

What will you learn today?

Newsletter Archive

I finally found a way to easily put all our newsletters out on the web. Thank you Constant Contact.

Learn more about Constant Contact here: http://tinyurl.com/6p46px

By the way, if you don't have a newsletter you should. Even if you are an employee.

Check out our new GREY MATTERS Newsletter archives

View the GREY MATTERS Newsletter Archive

The Problem with Persuasion

Influence trumps persuasion.

According to a recent Amazon.com search there are 30,888 books available on the topic of persuasion. The question is, do you really want to persuade people or would you rather influence them?

Webster’s defines ‘persuade’ as this:

to move by argument, entreaty, or expostulation to a belief, position, or course of action

And Webster’s defines ‘influence’ as this:

the act or power of producing an effect without apparent exertion of force or direct exercise of command

With these definitions in mind, which do you prefer to master? Persuasion or influence? If you are like me, I am not inspired by the idea of moving people by the act of ‘argument.’ What does inspire me is the idea that I could produce a desired effect without the exercise of command! As you may already be aware, most people run around in attempt to persuade other people to see things their way or do things their way. The problem with this is it causes resistance. Persuasion actually causes resistance. As previously noted, the definition of persuasion is to move someone by argument, but who wants to be on either side of an argument? Especially when it causes the people to reject our views, it causes people to resist us, and it causes people to move quickly away from how we desire them to react!

Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever not done something you wanted to do just because someone else wanted you to do it? Think about that for a minute. Yes, I believe we all have done this. And people do it to us all the time. People will deliberately not do what they want to do because they know someone wants them to do it! This is a perfect example of someone rejecting, resisting, and moving away. This is what happens when someone is trying to persuade them.

Here is just one real-life example: You go to a store or retail outlet to buy—not shop, to buy—something you really need or want. You have already decided today is the day you are going to bite the bullet and buy this one thing. Let’s also say this store is one that requires the assistance of a salesperson. (Oh no, not a salesperson!) It could be a jewelry store, car dealership, electronics store, or any other high pressure sales situation… You’re in the store. You spot that one thing, that one thing you are looking for. You ask to see it… and then, “Bam!” The salesperson jumps on it. You can just feel how much they really want you to buy it, and they push for you to do so. How many times in your life have you left a store without purchasing the very thing you wanted simply because you felt the salesperson was aggressively trying to persuade you to make the purchase. Do you remember how that situation made you feel? Did you feel pushed, sold, and or disrespected? Now, has this shoe ever been on the other foot? Have you ever tried to persuade someone to do something and they declined to see it your way? How did this make you feel? How do you suspect it made them feel?

Here’s another great example: You are driving in a busy parking lot searching for an empty parking spot. You have been circling and now you see a person walking down your row to their car. They see that you are waiting. Does it seem like they take extra time to get in the car, get situated and back out, or is that your imagination? Studies have actually shown that when a driver knows someone is waiting for their spot, they take much longer to vacate the spot. Why? They know you want it, and they don’t want to give it up. Sounds crazy, doesn’t it?

The biggest secret about persuasion is that it simply doesn’t work. It doesn’t work because it produces resistance. The key to getting what you want and creating an atmosphere of cooperation is the art of “Inspired Influence.” How do you influence people? The short answer is this: You have to be “in service” to them. How do you do that? You can choose one of two ways: By using curiosity to help them get what they really want or by getting over the attachment of ‘what’s in it for you.’

In the meantime, if you want to learn how to influence people around you, there are over 180,000 books on Amazon.com about influence, including one titled Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion. (WHAT?) To have your own experience of “Inspired Influence” attend an upcoming Reality Selling Seminar and join us for a powerful day of learning how you can stop trying to persuade and instead learn how to inspire through influence!

Contact:

Mattison Grey

Mattison@greystoneguides.com

www.greystoneguides.com

832 823 2476

I know, I know. The Knowing Myth

I have been studying high performers—and low performers—for years.

The question that comes up consistently is: What sets the high performers apart from everyone else? What are the qualities and characteristics that make some people break out and perform beyond what anyone thought possible? What keeps other people from doing great things?

The so-called experts have concluded that the high performers believe in themselves more, are more persistent, perhaps more talented, more focused, have a better work ethic, etc.

This expert believes that while those things may be have some influence, they are not the secret sauce of achieving high performance. The most impactful difference between high achievers and everyone else is that the high performers are able to navigate and take action in the unknown better than their less-curious counterparts.

Low achievers are constantly stopped by the need to know before they even try. They ask themselves questions like: What will happen? How will the entire thing turn out? How can I start when I can't see how it will go? Because knowing the answer to any of these questions is impossible, they become stuck in the illusion that they have to know in order to do. Inside this double bind, they are often unable to try. The trap of having to know keeps them small.

In contrast, high achievers take action in the face of uncertainty. Navigating the unknown and being able to act in spite of it requires a high level of curiosity.

What is curiosity? How would you define it? We've asked thousands of people this exact question, and all the answers are surprisingly similar. People say curiosity is something like: the need to know, looking for the answer. True curiosity is none of these things. It is being comfortable in the unknown, not having to have an answer, and, oh my goodness! not having to be right.

What do you have to know? And how is that stopping you from taking action?

Where in your life do you have to be right? And how is that keeping you from being the best you can be?

This way of being curious is directly related to innovation. What if Thomas Edison let the unknown stop him? Would we have electricity? It took an immense amount of curiosity for Edison to continue the quest.

What about Sony and the Walkman? They really had no hard evidence that the public wanted it. As it turns out, the Walkman was the first step toward the MP3 player—technology that changes our world. There was no way Sony could have predicted how that would turn out.

George Martinez used curiosity at Sterling Bank and changed the face of small business banking in Houston, Texas. While he was the chairman and CEO of Sterling Bancshares, Martinez grew the bank from $3 million to more than $3.5 billion in assets. During his 32 years there, he was instrumental in taking the bank public and achieving record profits for 15 consecutive years. Martinez used his curiosity to navigate his talent management and staff situations and empowered all his employees to do the same, producing record profits at the same time.

The single most important skill people need to break out of the ordinary and into the extraordinary is the skill of curiosity, which allows people to gracefully navigate the unknown. Curiosity is the central tool in our business practice.

We use our curiosity to find yours. Once you find your curiosity, your brilliance can emerge. Applying curiosity to your brilliance allows you to bring it to the world, which is what the high performers are doing all the time, they just aren’t telling.

If you want to read how curiosity works in high-performance workplaces, read Mattison’s recently published white paper, Coaching for Curiosity.

Get the White Paper for Free (a $14.99 value) When you join our mailing list

Use the coupon code: CFSP122008

GO AHEAD! YES IT IS UNKNOWN -DO IT ANYWAY!

ResoluWhat?

STOP!
DON'T!
WHATEVER YOU DO.....PLEASE DO NOT MAKE ANOTHER NEW YEARS RESOLUTION

New Years Resolutions don't work......for anyone. ever.

The root of the word resolution is solution, making the word resolution re-solution.
Making another same old solution to the same old problems. STOP the INSANITY

Even the word resolution has an inherit flaw - no wonder they don't work.

My year will be resolution and goal free and I bet I have my best year ever.

Who wants to take that bet?

Twice in one week!

On Sunday Coaching was on 60 minutes
Watch it here
and
On Friday the Value of Failure was on 20/20

I wrote about value of Failure on September 1, 2007 in my newsletter

Cirque du Soleil has a secret, and it’s big.

It is that the performers are failures. They fail consistently, every day, every show, sometimes every minute.

Every performer, every day—failure.

Recently I went to a Cirque du Soleil show—not my first, but the first I’ve seen with my high-performance-coaching eyes. What I saw, besides an incredibly entertaining show and story with amazing tricks, choreography, and acrobatics, was a bunch of mistakes—failures, if you will. I suspect very few in the audience noticed the mistakes, but I did, and it got me thinking about failure, and its value in high performance.

Each of those performers has failed so many times in practice, if they are going to fail during the performance, they know when and how it will happen. They know this because it has already happened hundreds, thousands of times. It happens in practice, in rehearsal, even in the shows.

One performer, a clown-like character, was doing gymnastics and tricks on a ladder. In addition to doing the tricks, he had to keep the ladder on its two feet. To begin any trick, he had to balance and climb the ladder. Three times he got part or most of the way up and slid back down, as if that were part of the show. Truth was, he was failing. He had lost control of the ladder and needed to start over.

How did he know?

My guess is he had failed hundreds of times in practice and in shows. That did not stop him from going on in front of a crowd of people each night and failing—again.

How many times have you not done something because you might fail?

How many times have you had a great idea or been inspired about something and then did not go for it because you think it might not work out?

In our culture we do not tolerate the learning curve. We expect that we can do something perfectly the first time, and if we suspect in the slightest way that we can’t, then we won’t even try, because we might fail.

Of course you’re going to fail! It’s the only way to learn. Wow! Now that’s a powerful double-bind we’re in: I can’t try because I might fail, but I can’t learn because in order to learn I have to fail. No wonder some people never get off the couch.

How does the ladder guy know what to do when he loses his balance? He has learned through failing how to stay on, and very important, how to fail.

Cirque is a great show, and really just a series of failures made to look as if they were meant to be. When the performers mess up, they don’t stop and say, “Wait, wait, stop the show, I just messed up, I need to start over.” No, they go on as if nothing happened, as if that was part of the show.

How do you handle it when you begin to fail? Do you push on through or put the brakes on, stop the event, get out of the car, and make yourself wrong?

The difference between high performers and low performers is, high performers have made thousands more mistakes than low performers.

In the January 2007 issue of Outside magazine, America’s greatest runner, Dean Karnazes, who runs ultra marathons (50 or 100 miles at a time) and who just ran 50 marathons in 50 states in 50 days, talked about failure.

“Unless you are pushing yourself, you are not living to the fullest. You cannot be afraid to fail, but unless you fail, you have not pushed enough. If you look at successful people and happy people, they fail a lot, because they are consistently trying to expand and go further….”

Oh, and what about baseball players? The mean batting average of a professional ball player is something less than .300. (The all-time record for batting average in the major league is held by Ty Cobb at .366.) That means a player gets on base—succeeds—only three of every 10 times he goes up to bat. What? Yep, they are willing go to the plate knowing that on any given day, years and years of statistics support that seven out of 10 times they will fail.

And before you go to the plate, you want to know for sure. Are you crazy?

What makes them willing to go to the plate despite the odds?

The real paradox is that being able to manage that level of failure is one of the reasons they become professionals. What? Yes, in all three examples, these high performers are all doing the same thing putting themselves in a position to fail, expecting not to, knowing the possibility of it, being prepared for the possibility, having enough experience to know what failure feels like, and still being willing to go to the plate, attempt to run 100 miles or get on the wobbly ladder in front of hundreds of people.

High performance, then, does not mean making no mistakes. It means tolerating your learning curve and the failure that will come with learning long enough to get into a position to succeed.

What are you willing to fail for? What would you do if you knew you could not fail? Does failure really exist, or have we made it up to keep ourselves small?

Curious about high performance? Let’s talk.

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.”

—Thomas Edison, inventor

Copyright 2007 Greystone Guides. All rights reserved.

What’s wrong with these kids today?

Generation Y or Generation Why?

Original published by Mattison Grey January 23, 2007

Do you feel as if the older you get, the younger they seem? The twenty-something employees keep coming, and each year they seem younger. And each year, the gap between you and the twenty-somethings you’re working with gets wider, and the leadership chasm deepens. Twenty-somethings are entering the workforce and frustrating forty- and fifty-something managers with their apparent lack of motivation, their carefree attitude, and their unwillingness to tolerate a work environment that doesn’t meet their seemingly unreasonable demands.

Do you find yourself working with twenty-somethings and confused by them? Whether they’re in the role of your subordinate, client, friend, or (my heavens!) your supervisor, knowing what is important to them will make those relationships stronger.

As the American workforce ages, companies have no choice but to hire the next generation of Millennials. The challenge is that Generation X, the Boomers, and the veterans have little more than a clue how to deal with them. I have lost count of how many forty-, fifty-, and sixty-something managers have asked me, “What do I do about these kids? How do I motivate them, and how do I retain my great talent?”

Many of these twenty-somethings are very talented, and they know it. They also know that their skills and knowledge are in high demand. They are not motivated by antiquated management or dictatorial leadership techniques, and they won’t tolerate any of that. If they encounter these situations, they know there’s another company right down the street that will treat them better. They often don’t hesitate to look for greener pastures.

What? You don’t think you’re the one that needs to make the adjustment? Pack your bags or close the shop now; this tension is not going away, and the “old folks” are going to have to be the ones to make the adjustment. Here are your choices: change or flounder.

The big question is: What do they want? And how can we adjust our leadership to align with the younger generation’s desires? Here’s a short list of their spoken and unspoken demands:

First and foremost, they want to be acknowledged for their accomplishments. They want to be recognized for their individual effort and their contribution to the success of the project or team. Gone are the days where you could pat them on the back, say “good job,” and go back to work. That just won’t fly anymore.

A close second is authenticity. As a leader, if you are not being authentic, truthful, and inspired, your credibility is suspect, and you will never win their respect. Members of this generation are very perceptive, and they will know right away when you are blowing smoke—sometimes even before you know you’re doing it.

Third, forget about engagement with this group (and all your employees for that matter). They were born “engaged.” That’s a minimum requirement. What they want—what they will go to the end of the earth for—is inspiration. They want to come to work every day and leave inspired, and they want that for you, too.

What’s the solution? Here are three ways to start to build the bridge over to Generation Why?:

You have to go for your inspiration: find a way to be inspired and inspire your people every day. How do you inspire them? Start by finding out what they really want and then help them get it.

Be authentic in your actions and your words. Most important, tell the truth. This generation is very literal and straightforward. If one of them did the lion’s share of the work on a project, but in public you say, “Under my leadership we…,” the employee is not afraid to say, “No, that’s not accurate. You didn’t do anything.”

As a leader, you have to acknowledge your people multiple times each day. This means paying attention to what they are doing, resisting the temptation to compliment and praise, and saying what they did in a way that conveys appreciation, but doesn’t make the acknowledgment about you.

Do these three things, and you’ll have a fighting chance of retaining your best talent and producing the results you want for you, Gen Why?, and your organization.

Coaching Tools for Leaders: The UH Executive Coaching Institute

Copyright 2007 Greystone Guides. All Rights Reversed

What is Coaching? NOT

What is coaching?

Lets talk about what it is not.

Professional Coaching is not:

Telling

Feedback

Correction

Suggestion

Thinking for

Teaching

Mentoring

Manipulating

Managing

Cajoling

Training

If you are doing any of these things and calling it coaching, you have a big problem.

If you have problem with that statement then you have an even bigger problem.

True Professional Coaching has only one definition:

Finding out what someone really wants and assisting them to get it

Everything else is something else

In the Presence of Brilliance

Written and originally published by Mattison Grey 9/06/2006

It doesn’t happen very often—in fact, hardly ever—but when it does WOW!

A couple of weeks ago, I had the honor of being in the presence of someone who was in their brilliance. I can’t tell you the last time I had that opportunity, and the scarcity is what made it special. After it was over, it began to dawn on me what I had just witnessed. I had to sit and consider what had just happened, and I have to say it was very emotional. Then I immediately began to think about when I could I see it again.

Before I tell you who and where, let’s talk about this thing called “being in your brilliance.”

First there is a difference between being brilliant and being in your brilliance. There are brilliant people, and then there is being in your brilliance. Everyone is brilliant in many ways. Doing the “thing” that you were put on the planet to do—that is being in your brilliance. Some people spend their entire life looking for it and wondering what they are looking for. A few are lucky enough to find it and be able to do something about it.

Examples of people in their brilliance are pretty hard to cite.

When Tiger Woods plays golf he is in his brilliance, and when he plays like he played last week he is also in the zone. But the thing about Tiger is he was born to play golf. This seems clear when we look at his accomplishments, both in what he has done on the golf course and what he has caused in the world. Do a little research on his foundation and his impact on kids through golf and you’ll see. Sure, he’s a great athlete, but the question is if he would have chosen basketball or football, would he be as good? My answer is no, he would not be the Tiger Woods of basketball or football. He is what and who he is because golf is his brilliance. If you disagree, that’s perfectly fine, but you can’t argue with results.

Results are one big clue that someone may be in their brilliance—amazing results and phenomenal impact. Speaking of impact, often the way the experience impacts us is that we are inspired to go out and do the thing we see them doing.

When have you been witness to someone in their brilliance? What were you born to do?

The unlikely place I found a guy in his brilliance was Laff Stop in Houston, Texas. Most people who are doing stand-up comedy are not in their brilliance, but this guy Josh Blue was. It was the most amazing example I personally have ever witnessed. Josh’s story is an incredible one—born with cerebral palsy, he began doing stand up in college and then won the nationally televised show Last Comic Standing. He is now on a nationwide, sold-out tour, standing on stage doing his brilliance each day. The big question is: Did he win Last Comic Standing because he had cerebral palsy, or does he have cerebral palsy so he could find his brilliance and win?

It is a very provocative distinction.
My answer is yes.

What is yours?

Copyright 2006 Greystone Guides. All Rights Reserved

What is This Coaching Thing...Anyway?

You’ve heard the word....Even some of your friends have one.
It seems like it’s past the point of a trend.
You think, “maybe I should look into this coaching thing.”

But what the heck is it?

There are many misconceptions about what professional coaching is and isn’t. This article is intended to give you information that we think will be helpful in clearing up the confusion about coaching.

What is coaching?
There are many definitions of coaching. Ask 50 coaches what coaching is and you’ll get 50 different answers. My favorite definition is:

Professional coaching is a professional partnership between a qualified coach and an individual or team that supports the achievement of extraordinary results based on goals set by the individuals or team.

What does coaching do?
Masterful coaching creates clarity and velocity. Having a coach will help you get more of what you really want and get it faster than you thought possible. A coach also functions as a resource and a guide as you navigate the slippery slope of going for your dreams. Going for your dreams is a big game, and having a fantastic life is a big project that warrants having a coach. If you wanted to climb Mt. Everest, one of the most important steps is to hire a good guide to show you the way. The guide helps you see the route, keeps you on track, and if all goes well, gets to you to the top of Mt. Everest.

What kind of coaching is right for me?
There are literally hundreds of coaching specialties. The term most commonly heard these days is “Life Coach.” Life Coach is a catch-all phrase for coaching that often refers to Life Coaching, Business Coaching, Career Coaching, Executive Coaching, or Corporate Coaching. Choose which coach is right for you based on your current situation and what you want to accomplish with the coaching. If you are a middle manager and want to develop and grow your own business, you would want to hire an entrepreneurship coach. If you need help dealing with your kids, you want a parenting coach. If you are an executive who has leadership challenges, you need a leadership coach.

What can I expect from coaching?
First you can expect the coach to ask you what you want. Often people are going for things that they think they want, but are not their true desire. Excellent coaches will not take your word for it. They will push you to create real clarity around what you really want.
For example, I once spoke with a middle-aged woman who was totally excited about flying airplanes. So her conceptual idea was to work as ticket agent for an airline. She would be sending people off to fly, but not flying herself. That would have left her disappointed and unsatisfied.
Once you have clarity, the next step is to design a project or a plan to get you moving in that direction. An important part of the plan is to create a supportive environment to keep you on track and moving forward. All along the way the coach will help keep you on track, push you when you need to be pushed, acknowledge you when you need to be acknowledged, and stand right with you while you go for your life.

I am curious about coaching, but I just don’t think I can afford it. What should I do?
There are many ways to get access to coaching. I deliver coaching in three ways. There is traditional one-on-one coaching, group coaching, and seminars. Many of Greystone Guides group coaching and seminars are very affordable. If you are curious about coaching, call Mattison or Jaime at 832.283.2476. We offer a complimentary conversation to answer your questions.

Happy Birthday to me!

Friday the 21st was my birthday! I did what I love to do, I trained a seminar. I feel so blessed that I am in control of my own business and life, and can choose what I do, and when I do it. I am truly Doing What I Love For a Living, and you can too.
Saturday night was my birthday party, I celebrated with my favorite friends and clients, it was really great. I am so lucky to be surrounded by really great, fun and loving people. The older I get the better life gets, I wonder if that has anything to do with the fact that my admitted mission is life is to help have fantastic lives?...................................

The Problem with Persuasion

Influence trumps persuasion.
According to a recent Amazon.com search there are 1,668 books available on the topic of persuasion. The question is, do you really want to be persuading people, or do you want to be influencing them?

Webster’s defines persuade

as

to move by argument, entreaty, or expostulation to a belief, position, or course of action

And influence as

the act or power of producing an effect without apparent exertion of force or direct exercise of command

Keeping these definitions in mind, which do you want to master?

I don’t know about you, but I am not inspired by the idea of moving people by argument. I am, however, inspired by the idea that I can produce an effect without the exercise of command. Unfortunately most people are running around trying to persuade other people to see or do things their way. The problem with persuasion is that it causes resistance. The definition of persuasion is argument, and who wants to be argued with, especially when it causes the other person to reject most, if not all, of what we have to say?

Has this ever happened to you? Read carefully: Have you ever not done something you wanted to do because someone else wanted you to do it? Think about that for a minute. Yes, we all have done this, and people do it to us all the time. People will deliberately not do what they want to do because they know someone wants them to. In other words, someone is trying to persuade them.

Here is a real-life example. You go to a store or retail outlet to buy—not shop, buy—something you need or want. You have decided today is the day you’re going to bite the bullet and buy the thing. Let’s say also that this store is one that requires the assistance of a salesperson. (Oh no, not a salesperson!) It could be a jewelry store, car dealership, electronics store, anywhere. You spot the thing you are looking for, ask to see it, and then bam! The salesperson jumps on it. You can just feel that they really want you to buy it, and they push for you to do so. How many times in your life have you left a store without the very thing that you wanted simply because you felt the salesperson was really trying to persuade you to make the purchase. How did you feel? Pushed, sold, disrespected? When has the shoe been on the other foot? When have you tried to persuade someone of something and they declined to see it your way? How did you feel?

Here’s another example. You’re driving in a busy parking lot searching for a parking spot. You have been circling and now you see a person walking down your row to their car. They see that you are waiting. Does it seem like they take extra time to get in the car, get situated and back out, or is that your imagination? Studies have actually shown that when a driver knows someone is waiting for their spot, they take much longer to vacate the spot. Why? They know you want it, and they don’t want to give it up.

The big secret about persuasion is that it doesn’t really work. It produces resistance. The key to getting what you want is the art of inspired influence. How do you influence people? The short answer is you have to be in service to them. How do you do that? Two ways: using curiosity to help them get what they really want and getting over the attachment of what’s in it for me. The next newsletter will explore ways in which we can move toward influence and away from persuasion. Look for it in late October.

In the meantime, if you want to learn how to influence the people around you, there are over 18,000 books on Amazon.com about influence. To have your own experience of inspired influence, attend the upcoming Reality Selling seminar. Curious? Join us for a powerful day of inspiring influence on October 28.

Attachment

You’re driving in a busy parking lot searching for a parking spot. You have been circling and now you see a person walking down your row to their car. They see that you are waiting. Does it seem like they take extra time to get in the car, get situated and back out, or is that your imagination? Studies have actually shown that when a driver knows someone is waiting for their spot, they take much longer to vacate the spot. Why? They know you want it and don’t want to give it up.

Service works

The best way to find yourself, is to lose yourself in the service of others.
- Ghandi

Who are you in-service to? and how?

CURIOSITY RULES!

Because I was curious today and ask about a jet airplane pin a man was using
as a tie clip, I found out that this man flew F4's in Viet Nam and was
stationed at Ubon, Thailand where I spent six months working for the Army as
a Morse code intercept operator. He flew over my compound several times a
day. (1971)

Curious is good.
Curious is fun.
Curious lights people up.
Curious is lucrative.

Of course, you knew that already.

Random Answers to Real Coaching Questions

Get your attention off yourself and on to them, it's not about you...sorry....... get curious......get in service, find out what they want.......
It sounds like you have it that this is going to be easy? Nope not easy and not without anxiety............so you can do what you have habitually done in your life and let it stop you or you can realize that you and your anxiety are right on schedule....move through it (cause the only way past it is through it), and do what it takes to have a seminar.

And...how ever you view it is how it shows up for them... thinking you are strong arming=feeling strong armed, thinking you are in service= feeling served.

It sounds too like the game might not be big enough...if you have time to worry about these things...then there is not enough intensity. How can you add intensity?


Any Guesses What the Question was???